Newsflash! Jesus Was Car-Free!

Jesus Was Car-Free

Peter Willikin, Jerusalem
Incorporated Press
April 5, 2005

Yesterday the Society of Christian Archaeologists made a most astounding discovery. It turns out that back during the Roman occupation of Palestine, there were no cars, trucks, vans, or SUVs, and Jesus was not himself a driver of automobiles.

“That’s right,” said Jim Hamilton, director of the archaeological dig that made the discovery. “Jesus didn’t need a car to get around. He used a low-emissions camel.”

When asked what traffic was like in the time of Jesus, Hamilton replied that “well it seems that the only roads were narrow strips between buildings, or almost non-existent as they winded through the deserts. We deduced that a traffic jam at the time involved but two camels.”

If it really is ‘God’s green Earth,’ then surely we have betrayed His vision by paving over forests and replacing fields with parking garages. On the subject of parking, there were no fees for parking a camel in ancient Jerusalem, the archaeologists were shocked to learn.

“Jesus didn’t commute to work every day. He lived very close, and likely walked. On occasions where he needed to travel a bit farther, he had the camel option.”

So if Jesus got around without an SUV, surely we can do it too, right?

“Not so easy,” replied Hamiton. “We still haven’t figured out where to pump the gas into the camel.”

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Ok I wrote this, but it's real funny isn't it? How can Christians live in suburbia driving their polluting vehicles to work, entertainment, and yes, even church?

Two birds with one stone! Oh yeah!